Of Reflections and Misgivings
by outlinedsilver
Summary: A little extension to the Dan/Rufus scene in the extended preview of 4.17.  Dan is beginning to get a little tired of hiding his friendship with Blair...


**A/N: This is my take on the little two-second scene on the Dan/Rufus scene in the Empire of the Son extended promo. Follows season 4, basically all the D/B centric episodes, and there's a minor reference to a season 1 episode.**

**Also, this is my first attempt at any kind of fanfiction, so...yeah.**

**Disclaimer: Does not own Gossip Girl or any of its characters.**

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_"Behind every jaded snarky glare lies heaps of love (I swear)."_

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"Have you ever hung out with someone and not been able to tell anyone?"

Dan's father looked back at him, puzzled.

"Why, who's she?"

Dan Humphrey opened his mouth, and then closed it again, his eyebrows knit together.

"Right, you can't tell me?" Rufus said.

Dan sighed.

"Alright. But what's so different about her?"

"I don't know, Dad. She challenges me. I mean, in a good way. We used to think we didn't get along well…but obviously we were wrong. Of course, she still insults me every opportunity she gets and we have that banter back and forth every time that I really don't have with anyone else…" Dan trailed off seeing his dad eyeing him strangely.

Seriously, could he be more _obvious_ about who he was talking about.

Dan waited for Rufus to say something, comment on _when the hell_ did he start hanging out with _Blair Waldorf_?

Surely he had seen him and Blair at the couple of parties? Shouldn't he be able to put two and two together? His dad was one of the most perspective people he knew of.

But Rufus just shook his head and replied, "Sounds pretty strange to me. But what's the deal with not telling anyone about it?"

Dan sighed mentally. Of _course_, even the idea of them being around each other was so utterly _impossible_.

"Well, uh, there are evil ex-es involved," replied Dan, thinking of Chuck.

"Oh. Serena? I don't think your really have to worry about her anymore. She seems pretty happy with Ben. Actually I wanted to talk to you about that…but seems like you've already moved on."

Serena. Dan wasn't thinking about her. Come to think of it, she hasn't crossed his mind lately as much as she should have, except when she was hanging around his loft with Ben, playing _Scrabble._

"Not just Serena," Dan said. "Uh…she's kind of still hung up on her ex."

_That_ has got to tell him who he was talking about…

"Oh."

Of _course_ not.

Dan was frustrated. He wanted to _tell_ someone just for the sake of it. He had tried telling Eric once, but seeing the look on Eric's face on knowing that _Dan_ wanted to spend Valentine's with _Blair_, he had reiterated his sentence immediately.

Was it really that implausible? They were just trying to have a simple friendship in a world where everyone else surrounding them was involved in some reckless scandal or the other right now.

And even if it was…was there really anything that could even surprise the UES by this time?

And really, who _cared_ even if they did.

Except, of course, Blair did.

Why was it such a problem? They obviously gave each other much need company, and they clearly started to trust each other too much. He hadn't seen Blair looking so carefree except when they were watching movies together. Sometimes when they bantered, she would slip a reluctant small smile that would tell him that she wasn't actually being serious when she was insulting him so enthusiastically. They understood each other so well that it was almost like they were calling each other out on their insecurities through all those insults.

He had woken up that morning at the loft after Eric's birthday to the smell of _Blair_'s shampoo, seeing _Blair _sleeping on his shoulder, _Blair_ cuddled up in his arm, her hair slightly miscued, looking so cute and innocent and vulnerable and looking so much at home that for a couple of moments he had an insane, strong urge to want to protect her from the world and a certain asshole who lately had tendency to intentionally or inevitably hurt her.

He had noiselessly stood up and moved her a bit so she was in a better posture. Covered her with a duvet. She hadn't moved an inch or made any sign that she was still alive, because God knows when she had slept last time.

She had woken up about two hours later, stalking to the kitchen, throwing him her snarky glare and a curt Good Morning, and he could see some awkwardness in her eyes.

Then she had sneakily tiptoed out (after breakfast, of course), saying how she didn't know how she could get out quickly enough without Gossip Girl having a field day about spotting her in Brooklyn.

But she had looked back one last time, that reluctant small smile glowing up her face that he semiconsciously yearned to see every time he talked to her.

It had also become a sort of ritual for them to text or call the other up late night, when everyone had retreated back to their respective houses and another peaceful day of busy schemes and scandals was over. Their talks usually spanned intellectual topics including movies to literature to art to gloves to Dan's flawed taste in fashion. Of course, occasionally Chuck and Serena also slipped into their conversations.

Why did she still want Chuck? He didn't even deserve her.

And clearly he was busy chasing Raina and saving his company to pay the slightest attention to Blair.

Well, that kind of sounded like his situation too…

The point was – they clearly wanted to keep hanging out. And understandably.

"So," came Rufus's voice, breaking Dan's train of thoughts. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Well…he was definitely going to that Joseph Beuys exhibit with her today.

That was what I was trying to ask you, actually," Dan said instead.

"Well," Rufus said carefully. "Why don't you try to confront her about it?"

Confront Blair? The Queen of Denial?

She wasn't even willing to admit to her own self that they were _friends_.

"Uh," began Dan. "I'll think about it," he said, uncomfortably.

Rufus smiled.

Dan remembered the first time he had discussed Blair with his dad (of course at that time, he _knew_ who he was talking about). Had he really said 'label-whoring package of girly evil'? He chuckled silently. Nah, 'evil dictator of taste' suited her better.

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**Review, pretty please?**


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